Use Your Words, November 17th, 2018: Sluts Don't Exist But Assholes Do

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. 
I’m using:      chronic ~ focus ~ slender ~ diluted ~ hamper ~ relationship
They were submitted by:  Jenniy from Climaxed

This blog was actually supposed to be up yesterday. However, this week threw me for a loop and I was not at all prepared to have anything post on its due date. 
Earlier this week a person grabbed me, without my consent, and hurt me physically and emotionally. While I immediately expressed I …

Secret Subject Swap: November 9th, 2018

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 9 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 
My “Secret Subject” is: You're out hiking in a local forest when you stumble upon a village of small creatures. What happens?
It was submitted by:  thank you Jenniy! 
Here's the thing with me hiking, I would most literally stumble upon a village. No matter the miles I have put on the trail once in a while my sure footing is not so sure and betrays me and I end up bruised in all the oddest places as my body meets the ground at a quicker pace than I ever intended...
It felt like I was in dream when my face collided with the earth, yet....once again, and I cursed myself wondering what was going to be bruised on my body this time. I was not exactly sure what I even tripped over, there was no exposed roo…

What We Need to Know When It Gets Bad: Kindness Keeps Us Here

Hey Rodrigo....where did we go?

That was how I sang Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl for years until my mom was listening to me one day and began laughing hysterically. "Those aren't the words", she choked out, "Who is Rodrigo??" she teased. I stared at her CERTAIN that those were the lyrics because...that is what I was used to singing. A quick check on the almighty Google showed that I was definitely wrong... "Hey, where did we go...." was the correct words to croon after all. 

It is funny how we believe certain things we have heard time and time again and accept it as truth without delving into it. 

Charles Darwin is most notably known for saying that the continuation of our species will depend on how "fit" a person is. Though he is attributed to saying that....Mr. Herbert Spencer was the the originator of that thought process. Today we think of 'survival of the fittest' as those who are in tip top physical shape and well-being. Phy…

Scary Tales of Comforts from the Past: Remembering How Beautiful it is to Let Dead Things Go

When the past comes knocking don't how the saying goes.

And, that is quite a noble thought. Except...what if  you are one of those people who hate to see relationships end and believe the best in others, even if the majority of the relationship was toxic and anxiety ridden? I can tell makes it hard to not want to pull that door open and can we make this better?

Sometimes, we can become lost in our loneliness. In those weird moments of uncertainty while we are searching for ourselves, that loneliness can  urge us to blindly reach out to anything that bears any semblance to comfort, including creatures of the past that have only brought us pain. Loneliness doesn't have a memory for pain. It simply brings anxiety of being alone and would take a known pain over the unknown.  
In my life I have a friend....maybe not even a friend, a confidant might be a better way to describe said person. They can irritate me profusely and they know it. We joke about …

WSPD; Please Stay

We have this weird thing in our culture where we believe in treating our bodies and nourishing our faith (whatever it may be) but when it comes taking care of our minds, when it comes to our emotional health, when it comes to asking for mental help we pause because we know that stigma is still out there. That stupid, asinine, archaic stigma that resides in society that says people who suffer from mental illness are weak. The stigma makes others think that those suffering are faking it, they can just 'get over it', or they can just brush themselves off and keep going. Welp. That's bullshit. We have lost people to suicide who thought they had no other option in this world. We have broken friends and family walking around in soul crushing hazes of grief not knowing how to go on and wondering what they could have done. We have people in our lives right now who are considering if their lives are worth living. We have, ourselves, debated our own worth, found ourselves lacking and t…

The Last Day My Mom Was My Mom

On September 7th, 2018 it will be one year since my mom has passed away. 

One whole year where I have not heard her laugh, held her hand or watched one of her cheesy sci-fi flicks she just absolutely adored. In three short days, it will be a year that I have not had the joy of having her flush the toilet while I was in the shower, mock me for being so serious or feel her gently caress my back after along day and when she got my sigh she jokingly ask what I would do without her.  My answer is the same now as it was then, I don't know ma, I don't know. 

If we're being honest, my mom left me before the year mark. She was gone that Tuesday after Labor Day. The last time my mom was herself was a year ago today. See, when your body shuts down...the person you were leaves until the rest of your shell decides to die off. It's a confusing and weird time for your loved ones to watch you barely  sip water, administer morphine so your body is not in pain, watch you raise your arms a…

Fat Girl Diaries: Thoughts on Losing A Whole Person And Still Being Really Fat

This past Saturday I completed the IhavenoclueanymorewhatnumberIamon 5k in my lifetime-at my fastest time nonetheless. Today, I received an email with my chip time in it-51 minutes and 41 seconds....meaning it takes me 17 minutes and 14 seconds to walk/jog a mile.  I was so geeked to learn that was my time as I thought I was at 53 minutes when I crossed the finish line so knowing it was faster than I thought put some pep in my step to say the least.  Doesn't quite seem like big potatoes or a fast time to some people....and it really isn't. But, I am not concerned about other people's thoughts on my time. 

While in this 5K a person began to walk next to me and told me what an inspiration I was to them. I blankly stared at this stranger and said, 'thank you?'. They asked me in a lowered voice if it was my first 5k to which I replied no. Because, it definitely isn't I have been doing 5ks for at least 5 years if not longer. Yes, even when I was close to 450 pounds. …