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Sunday Confession: Fall

Last Sunday, I spent a few hours on a slightly treacherous trail after some recent rain. Honestly, I probably spent more time picking myself up from my numerous falls and spills than actually hiking I'm fairly certain. In the beginning of my hiking journey, I was terrified to fall. Absolutely terrified.I would stick to 'safe' trails and cut a walk or hike short if it seemed too challenging. Better to get in a few steps and be done than risk hurting myself was the mantra I sheepishly abided. In doing that though, I never challenged myself.Those were the days that I never allowed myself to....meet me.There is a person within all of us that we have not met yet. They can only emerge after we have been utterly destroyed and irrevocably changed. They are the phoenix waiting to be reborn. Perhaps, that person is someone we have always longed to be, perhaps they are someone we never thought we could be. Either way, they exist in the depths of our souls and will introduce us to our…

Sunday Confessions: Brown

Profusely, I thanked the Hospice nurse for coming out so late to look at mom's hand which with its doubled in size look, hot to the touch, and redness I was betting on cellulitis. Again. "That's why we're here. Thank you for calling", she smiled and handed me a script for a strong antibiotic to help get it cleared up. She took a moment, charted in her laptop, gathered her stuff, and headed to the door then stopped. "I really do enjoy talking to your mom-and you. You ladies make everything fun, even in the not so fun times", then she exited my front door.  I watched her walk down the ramp and safely get into her car. Then I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my purse so I could run to our trusty 24 hour Walgreens down the road, in the middle of the night, so we could get her started on the antibiotic and bring her relief.Right before I handed over the script to the pharmacist I froze momentarily when I noticed the stamp that read, "Patient with Termina…

Use Your Words: July 14th, 2017

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Hello and happy Friday! Today's writing adventure is one where a group of fun and amazing bloggers get together and are given between 4-6 words that they need to use in their blog. They can use it any which way they want as long a they work in those words. At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. 
I’m using:  Hard work ~ Stone ~ Hair ~ Limelight
They were submitted by:  The Bergham Chronicles Thanks Jules! :)


A half-eaten cup of chili in a cardboard container, I can see how it doesn’t look like much.
But really, it is so much more than that.
After a long week, all the days and weeks seem long lately, I needed a moment to relax. In the middle of the workday I did not think it was possible. Momentarily, I stared outside admiring the sun shining down and paid for my chili wondering the last time I took a lunch-you know a real lunch, away from the desk, not on a conference cal…

It Was Me

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It's not you, it's me.
Those words used to swirl in my head and keep me up at night. Constantly, anxiously, they were analyzed and debated about how cheesy they were and if they were a cop-out. 
But the last time I tasted them while savoring each syllable, it was realized, they were not a mere excuse. They were the truth.
It was never you. It was me.  
There was never a time I could make you be someone you were not. You were not ready to evolve, to mature, to move forward with life and love and be a better person. Sitting in misery was okay for date night, angry retorts and debasing words were fore-play, and spreading toxicity to every facet of our lives was the ultimate form of intimacy. 
It was me who decided that I needed to search for my self-worth. 
It was me who vowed to vanquish self-doubt and nurse my numb and bruised heart back to health. 
It was me who chose to let go and lift myself up. It was me who said good bye to toxic relationships and overused lame excuses for hol…

Sunday Confessions: Rash

Judgy people get under my skin like the worst rash possible. I'm not talking about the people who genuinely offer advice out of the kindness of their heart even if it's slightly misguided by love and concern. Nor do I mean those who try to discern a tricky situation and weigh and measure the pros and cons of the options. The judgy ones who irritate my nerves like psoriasis mixed with poison ivy on fire are the ones who simply discriminate because they can. These judgers look no deeper than surface level and believe their way is the only way, then condemn those who live life differently.  They don't like that some women are stay-at-home mom's and call them lazy. They don't like when men show their emotions and call them weak. They don't like that fat women wear cute clothes and call them gross. They don't like those who speak their mind and call them pot-stirrers. They dont like those who are quiet and call them feeble minded. They don't like political p…

Sunday Confessions: Impulse

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Over the years, I have said 'yes' to events, charities, favors, donating time....whatever you can think of because that was my automatic default. I could not stop myself from consenting because I was sure that was something I 'should' have been doing, regardless of if it put me out or wasn't a good time or how I felt.
Giving into impulsive thoughts and desires can be satiating and wonderful-when it is something that makes your soul happy. But, when you are just agreeing and going with the flow because it has been your knee jerk reaction for so long...you are doing nothing to benefit yourself.
It is not just okay to say 'no', it is wonderful! It is an act of self-care. It is an act of establishing boundaries. It is taking what you want and need into account, and that is flipping beautiful.
You may even need to take a moment and plan out what you are going to say to those people you feel you cannot turn down. There is not a thing wrong with taking a breath…

Not Where I Want To Be.

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"The fact that you aren’t where you want to be, should be motivation enough".
That is definitely motivating.
But also exhausting.  
Sometimes you try all you know. And you yo-yo. You go back and forth. You try your best…but even with all your effort your bests sometimes are not good enough. You need to stop, take a breather and reset.  
Tomorrow at this time, I should almost be out of surgery for the gastric sleeve.
Since I was a child I have battled with my weight.  I have recently started to take care my health in the most recent years. I have lost weight, gained it back, lost it again, gained stamina, fell in love with the outdoors, gained some back, gotten into therapy…and started to figure out what is going on in my head so I knew the best way to approach…myself.
At this point, I need to do something different and something drastic. It's not for lack of trying-but I need a tool to help me get to where I want to be.
I am too in love with life to not be able to do the stuf…