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Showing posts from 2014

Finally & Thankfully

I write this snuggled with my back into my husband's side and my chihuahua curled behind my knees and I find myself comfortable in a way I have never been before. With  the soothing snores of my hubby to calm the memories and thoughts racing through my brain, I realize not only am I comfortable but I am comfortable in transition.This year has not been one of the easiest ones but almost all challenges I have encountered has been because of my own hand. At the end of last year I came to grips with the fact I was not happy with myself, with my health, and decided it was time to make some changes.On this road to a healthier me, I have found I have simultaneously been traveling the road to self-discovery. Funny thing, when I set out on this journey I never thought I was going to learn who I was, I simply thought I could change who I was.But how could I change who I was...but not have an idea of who I was meant to be? Or who I really was?Time and time again, I have surprised myself with…

Oh Father Of Mine...

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My fingers awkwardly hover over these well-used keys, knowing the feelings they want to share but frozen because they know these feelings they want to share. I wonder, if this is how it felt for my mother to have to beg my father for child support, for paternity testing, for any recognition that he helped create a life. A life he could care less about. I wonder if she felt frozen and confused, full to the brim with emotions but empty at the same time, not knowing if she should let it all burst out or continue to compartmentalize it into 'what-ifs' and fairy tales.

I wonder if she ever had a feeling of absolute let down when he never showed up. When he ignored the certified letters informing him of the court dates. Or if she was not let down because she knew deep down he was a piece of shit.

Oddly enough, for a good part of my life, I held no ill will towards my father. I did not miss him, I did not crave him, I was not jealous of the other children who gallivanted around with…

Admit It

You are not perfect.Neither am I.Nor  is anyone for that matter.The sooner we admit that we are human and that we are faulty and foolish we can move forward. Our eyes need to be opened to our flaws, chronic mistakes and harmful and idiotic choices. If we can admit our problems-we can face them-then we can work at overcoming them.We need to admit we are human. We need to realize we are strung together with good intentions and imperfections. We need to embrace our mistakes and shortcomings. We need to admit that we can overcome what has held us back and hurt us by simply identifying our problems.Admit it, choosing to tackle your demons head on rather than being tormented and teased by them seems like a much better way to spend your time.Today has been a Sunday Confession with the one, the only, the very talented and cheesy More Than Cheese And Beer. Please stop by the link up and see what everyone else is Admitting today.

Use Your Words: December 12th, 2014

Hello and HAPPY FRIDAY -if you're reading this then you made it to today so huzzah for you!!! (Imagine glitter and streamers magically appearing.) Welcome to December's Use Your Words Challenge!

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them.

Until now. (Dun, dun, dun!)

I’m using: Winter Break ~ White ~ Detergent ~ Crystals ~ Diamonds

They were submitted by: http://followmehome.shellybean.com ~Thank you!

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.



As I stare out my window and see the mu…

Secret Subject Swap: December 5, 2014

Hello and happy Friday!Welcome, welcome, and welcome to December's Secret Subject Swap! This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. So get comfy, grab your peepers, a snack and a sippy and get ready to read!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there: Baking In A TornadoThe MomisodesSpatulas On ParadeDinosaur Superhero MommyStacy Sews and SchoolsThe Bergham’s Life ChroniclesEvil Joy SpeaksJuicebox ConfessionConfessions of a part-time working momSilence of the MomSparkly Poetic WeirdoClimaxedMy “Secret Subject” is:As the year comes to a close, we all tend to talk about what things we were grateful for in the past year. Tell us about some thing(s) that you’re actually grateful to have over and done with in the past year,that…

The Power Within

A few years ago, I was walking in a city with a few girlfriends when we spotted a homeless man sitting on a bench. He was doing nothing, he just sat there with his belongings, when the girls I was with started in on this tirade about how homeless devalue the community and how they are all lazy, gross and probably addicts.I was shocked and responded in complete sarcasm stating maybe we should round up the homeless, put them on a bus and ship them elsewhere or put them in some tent cities, when they stopped and in all seriousness agreed and said what a good idea it would be.I was stunned silent for a moment and had a choice at hand. We were having a nice day and wondered if I really wanted to ruin it. I could just nod my head at a horrendous idea, let them think I was serious and go to dinner.Or I could be true to myself. I could tell them it was a preposterous suggestion and that the desire to discard another human like trash to brighten up the community would be a crystal clear reflec…

Always Be

Always be thankful.
Always be nice.
Always smile.
Always be generous.
Always dress nice.
Always be prepared.
Always say something nice or nothing at all.
Always give the benefit of the doubt.Although, those are lovely sentiments and goals they are impossible to maintain and it is silly to attempt to. Always is a constant. Always does not fail, it is consistent. It is regular, always shows up every time.You cannot force yourself to be something every time, every day, at all times. That is wrong, that is unnatural, and impossible.It is okay to be upset. It is fine to embrace resting bitch face. There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind or confronting those who have made your life difficult.It is okay to lose your shit at times.Not all the time and you cannot live there but it is okay to feel overwhelmed with what life throws at you and react accordingly or not so accordingly.Following a mold of how a person 'should act' will not help you be the person you are meant to be. It simpl…

Write On?

Life is about ideas bursting forward.Creativity being called out from the depths of despairity to bring light to life. About possibility. Sometimes this creative power catches like a fire and burns through our souls and like an hot ember flies away until it can burn itself deeply into someone else's heart. And it continues until a forest fire is raging, ravaging and destroying anything in its path just so we can absorb its terrifying power and beauty.Other times, the flame barely flickers before it blows itself out.Rejection is part of a writers life.We regret to inform you...At this time we are not accepting submissions...Please try again at a later time...You accept the rejection, in a weird way it almost serves as a badge of honor. Getting a rejection letter makes you feel part of the club, part of a small world, it makes you feel like you are so close to becoming who you think you really are.I cannot speak for every writer but for me rejection challenges me. It mocks me. It fo…

Quietly and Quite Quickly Life Happens

Quick.It is the only accurate speed to explain how our lives progress. Even in the moments that seem slow and horrifying the universe is rapidly and unapologeticly rushing past us bringing our short days to an end.And there is nothing we can do about it.Accurate and shocking statistic but 100 percent of people born will die. It is a truth that many have an issue grasping, fully understanding and coping with but it is inevitable. If we truly embraced that fact, it could help shape our lives in the most amazing ways.We attempt to delude ourselves that we have time, that we will make time, that we can multitask and make the most of our time. Did you know multitasking, real multitasking, is believed to be a myth in the scientific community? What we are actually doing when we multitask is just switching to another task in front of us. We are not doing both at the same time. Think of when you try to write an email and hold a conversation with somebody. Often times you stop typing to talk or…

Use Your Words: November 14th, 2014

Happy Friday and welcome to another wonderful writing challenge!

This is the scoop: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them.

Until now.


At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.
I’m using:

My words are:

cinnamon ~ sledge hammer ~ camera ~ yarn ~ pajamas ~ bulletin board

They were submitted by: Spatulas On Parade ~ Thanks Dawn!


This is the third and last installment of my work of fiction about Marge and Grady. If this is your first time reading it, please read THIS FIRST then this ONE so you can catch up to where we are at. Happy Read…

Secret Subject Swap: November 7, 2014

Happy Friday and welcome to November's Secret Subject Swap!This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and
were assigned a secret subject to
interpret in their own style. Today we
are all simultaneously divulging our
topics and submitting our posts.Here are links to all the sites now
featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.So find a comfy spot, grab a snack and see where our secret subjects took us!Baking In A TornadoThe MomisodesSpatulas on ParadeStacy Sews and SchoolsDinosaur Superhero MommyClimaxedSomeone Else's GeniusThe Bergham's Life ChroniclesConfessions of a part-time working momSilence of The MomCrumpets and BollocksSparkly Poetic WeirdoMy “Secret Subject” is:"What would you do if someone gave you $1M?"It was submitted by: Silence of The Mom Why would someone give me a million dollars? I feel for the sake of this scenario I need to say someone paid me my winnings from a lottery ticket or I received it as a gesture of a random act of…

Rock Solid? Not All The Time.

Out of the three states of matter-gas liquid or solid , I feel that I am nowhere near a solid state. If life has taught me anything, it is that it pays to be flexible and that I know I am.There are ideas and thoughts that I have a firm grasp on. There are things that I believe I would never do. And of course, there are people, places and events that no one can keep me from.I am not sure is that shows how solid I am or my stubbornness. Maybe both.It does no good to be solid all the time. To be rigid, unmoving, unyielding. I believe in having a firm foundation, to have something substantial to build our lives on but that is just the beginning of who we are. Foundations crack. They break and need to be rebuilt. Sometimes we need to find harder materials to use, better materials, more dependable ones.In the meantime, while we are searching for the new base to rebuild our new lives on, the best way to survive is to be flexible, to be fluid, to be the liquid matter that can be smart enough …

I'm Just Going to Satisfy Myself

if only it was that easy. It is doable, but a lot of hard work to make myself satisfied.I realized a long time ago I could not depend on other people to make me happy, to thrill me, to wholly and fully satisfy me. Only I know how to do that properly.Don't get me wrong, I enjoy people and what we do together. I even hunger for certain kinds of interactions that get my adrenaline pumping and blood flowing properly. But if I want to have a good time, if I want to get the best experience I know I have to be the one willing to satisfy myself.No one can do it better. I understand  that it has always been more of a mind game than anything physical for me, and that's true for most women. I know how to position myself, I know how to feel full and complete without feeling awkward and shamed afterwards, I can push myself just a little farther then I would let anyone else, because I know my body, mind and soul that damn well.The perception of ones self is a funny thing. We never quite see…

You've Got (Voice) Mail

I would not necessarily call myself a packrat or a hoarder when it comes to the items I save. I do not have much clutter and try to live a simple life. When I go through my things-clothes, books, movies, and a long list of other random items-and am trying to debate if I should give them up or keep them I ask myself some questions.Do I need it?Do I love it?If no to those, then they are gone.It is not because of lack of sentimentality on my part. I do hold on to little mementos to remind me of trips, fun nights and great times. Most of my clutter lives in my head of fond memories and inside jokes. I do not need a closet full of things I will never display or use to remind me of where I have been or where I want to go.I guess I just do not like disorganization, confusion and messes. I try to do simple because simple makes me happy.But, that does make me immune to moments of weakness of holding on to something that I really do not need.I had re-listen to my voicemail at work, which to be …

Redesign Time

Our habits are hard to break and even harder to unlearn, especially if they have been with us since childhood. We at times reject that it was something we learned, picked up, or chose to do, but rather we focus on convincing ourselves and others it was how we were designed, how we were made.Here's the thing though, there are parts of us that are predesigned in utero for us. Our gender, our hair color, eye color, any chemical imbalances, chromosomal abnormalities, diseases, it is just how we were made. It just happens.We at times confuse what we were born with and how we were raised with what is natural or normal for us. My mom has to see a dietician tomorrow. She is less than thrilled to say the least. She knows she needs to eat better and exercise more but has a hard time doing so. Let me make it clear, my mom has quit smoking, she rarely drinks, and has lost weight since her initial heart attack in 2005. That is huge. You may not think it is, but truly it is amazing when someone…

Use Your Words: October 10th, 2014

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.


At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.

I’m using: school ~ fall ~ red Solo cup ~ flabbergasted ~ laundry


They were submitted by: Eileens Perpetually Busy

This is a continuation from my last Use Your Words blog.

Marge laid on the godforsaken uncomfortable gurney, though the awkward neon colored lights tried to distract her, the only thing she could think of was the fall.

It was her fault.

She was lucky, if you could call it that, becau…