What If Wednesday?

"What if..." Wednesday is a blog prompt that More Than Cheese And Beer is hosting. 

Today's theme is "What if I logged off?" and it's supposed to be a quick writing with no more than 10 minutes spent on it.

What would happen if I logged off more often?

I'm sure my waist line would be a little smaller.

I'm sure I would have my book for book club finished by now.

I'm absolutely sure my mom would love it as she tells me, as recently as five minutes ago, 'all that interneting is going to ruin your brain'.

Yes, she says "interneting".

She also calls it "the interwebs" and refers to texting as "teletyping".

I probably would not be as awestruck by some of the stupidity of people if I logged off more.

I should know by now to avoid the comment section of any article on the internet but l cannot.

l just cannot avert my eyes from the train wreckage that is presented before me in the form of unintelligible remarks, incoherent babble, awkward pictures, veiled racism, bigotry, misogyny and, of course, the grammar atrocities.

I gave up being a full-time Grammar Nazi a few years back but sometimes I can feel my blood pressure rise as I notice the wrong "their" or how people put "defiantly" when they mean "definitely".

So I'd be calmer.

I would probably miss passive-aggressive status updates aimed at they know who they are.

So I'd feel relaxed.

I could actually do the crafts I pinned on Pinterest or try the hairstyle that I've watched the tutorials on seven times.

So I'd be a fancy bitch.

I would probably work on writing more and probably published because let's face it, I'm beyond awesome.

What have we learned so far?

If I logged off more I would be a calmer, well-read, fitter, crafty, fancy pants, published author.


You're welcome skanks.

The internet was obviously used as a tool to distract me at being the most awesome bitch out there.

Okay, I really gotta finish my book for book club.

Until next time.


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