Compliments Do Exist

I have noticed a trend when I compliment people.

It doesn't matter who it is. It applies to almost all of you:

Friends. Co-workers. Loved ones.

You bastards cannot take a compliment.

No matter how simple it is.

It can be a simple 'You look nice today' or 'That was very kind of you' and it turns your brains into an instant frenzy wondering how you can degrade yourself or shift the attention elsewhere.

Or it makes you extremely suspicious of the person giving you a compliment.

I used to ignore compliments or turn completely awkward.

Well, more so than I normally am. But I've been trying very hard to take a compliment gracefully.

I chalk it up to one particular day this past winter.

One of the doctors I work with gave me a compliment on my work ethic and I suppose I felt completely undeserving because I deflected everything he said and do not remember saying thank you.

My mom complimented me on some of my crafts I was working on and I may have told her to shut up. Moms have to say nice things or so I told myself. But my response was not called for and quite rude.

And that was the day, my husband called me beautiful  to which I only had self deprecating remarks to say. The look on his face was a mixture of frustration, hurt, confusion and hesitation.

I could tell he wanted to say something but was debating it.

He finally looked at me and said, "Why are you a hypocrite?".

Not said with malice or anger just the question of a man who sounded worn down.

And I stood in the middle of my bedroom frozen.

For what felt like forever, I just stared at him. 

I was confused and angry that he would call me a hypocrite.

Before I could get out why he would say that in my screechy voice, he told me this:

You see beauty in everyone else. You tell them it and expect them to accept it as fact. You send out love in everything you do. But when someone shows you love, when I show you love, you ignore what I'm saying and treat my words as lies. You can't see beauty in everything except yourself. That's why you're a hypocrite.

It was longer and nicer when he said it but that was the jist of his speech.

And it made me rethink about my reaction to compliments.

Our reaction as a whole to others when we get compliments.

Maybe we've conditioned ourselves to think we aren't worthy of praise?

Maybe we've listened to every negative comment society has told us and believed them to be true?

Maybe we're suspicious that the only reason someone compliments is because they want something?

I don't know the exact reason we tend to do this, I just know we need to stop.

We need to believe we are worthy.

We need to believe we are beautiful.

We need to believe we are smart.

Not because someone tells us we are, but because we are.

If we have the courage and faith to believe in angels and horoscopes, ghosts and winning the lottery, omnipotent beings and the ability not to get dirt on an all-white outfit why is it so far-fetched to believe a compliment when you receive one?

If someone notices you are a rock star you should THANK THEM,  not ridicule yourself, or turn it around on them.

If I am telling you that you have a kind soul and a giving heart I mean it.

Don't doubt my words. Or worse, yourself.


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