What Will Be Will Be, Duh
I love adages or quotes that have bits of wisdom wrapped up nicely in one or two sentences to help me put problems or worries into perspective.
I truly am a fan. I like posting them on my blog, on my facebook, using them in cards I make.
They are comforting I suppose because there's a feeling of wisdom, of knowledge, encouragement, perseverance and sometimes a little wit.
There is a sense that these repeated words were once said by wise people and have passed down for generations.
That they help give us pause and give us something to reflect on.
Then there are times though l hear well intentioned words of encouragment lazily spewed out and it makes my skin crawl.
We stopped for a quick bite at a fast food joint for lunch today.
Hubby was waiting for the food while l snagged us a table. l was peering around at fellow customers getting my people watching on when l overheard two ladies talking.
We will call one lady the talker and the other the listener.
The talker was explaining how she was having a rough time with her family...how mistakes were made and how she did not know whether she should reach out to an ailing parent.
Her voice was heavy with confusion and the wonder of what to do in a sticky situation.The way she was talking and opening up gave the impression she valued her friends opinion.
She stopped talking and sighed deeply, and l assume, anticipating her friends advice.
The listener sat quiet for a moment, then said in a cheery voice, 'lf it's meant to be it will be'.
Talker, said nothing for a moment, then said, 'l guess you're right'.
Then the listener started talking about her cat or dog or lizard or something. l stopped eavesdropping, my hubby had brought our lunch and was asking what l wanted to drink.
l could not stop thinking of the lame response the listener gave.
If it's meant to be, it will be. Well, okay then.
But that doesn't really help her friend out in the advice category.
Maybe the listener didn't feel comfortable giving advice to her friend...
Maybe her friend is the type who doesn't ever take the good advice you give them...
Maybe l shouldn't be eavesdropping and being judgey..
Or maybe listener just felt a few ambigious words were enough to stop her friend from pouring out her heart.
What does that even mean-'lf it's meant to be, it will be?'
If it is 'meant to be', and it is going to happen anyway, why even say it, why announce it?
It seems like lazy words to dole out, in place of 'l don't know' or 'who cares'.
More importantly, the thing that bugs me about that response, is the fact that it sounds like it is already predetermined, already decided.
Like there is no recourse or action to be taken. Just sit back and let life happen.
We will deal with whatever comes our way when it does.
We run our lives. We choose what we say or do.
We should rely on ourselves and not any predestined fate to give us direction in life.
Sometimes, we have to work for what we want.
We have relationships in our life that have fallen in disrepair, we have loved ones that feel forgotten about, we have goals that we put on the back burner because we have a mentality that 'what will be, will be'.
Which is true.
But only half way.
Strained relationships, bad work envirnoments, life ruts will stay the same way if we do nothing.
If we want our life to go a certain direction we have to steer our ships that way baby.
We cannot sit back and pass the port we wish to dock at, and then get upset about not making it to where we want to go.
We need to be open and honest with ourselves.
lf we are not comfortable with a situation we need to change it for ourselves, not just sit back and wait for life to handle our dirty work.
We do not grow if we do not change.
Never wait for a 'friend' to give you advice.
Listen to yourself, ask yourself what feels right to you and strive to do it.
Choose to participate in your life.
Choose which route you want to go.
Work at what you want, where you want to be.
I am not saying it will be easy, in fact l am sure it won't be.
I am not saying you will not encounter haters on your journey, because well, those little bastards like to pop up everywhere.
I cannot even tell you won't end up back at square one because sometimes that happens.
But l can tell you, if you don't try,if you don't work hard, if you don't fight for what you want-what you need, if you don't even attempt what your heart desires you will be stuck in 'what if' land.
That is hell.
It is nights kept awake wondering how you could have saved a relationship.
It is daydreams on repeat, wishing you would have been brave enough to follow your dreams.
It is regret, missed opportunity, the pain of never knowing, but mainly it is unnecessary.
Live the life you want. Wait for no cliched advice or big signs in the sky to tell you what to do.
Accept that what will be, will be.
But be content to know that , you can react to what is and you can help form what will be.
Be willing to step outside your comfort zone and do what you wish and fix what you can.
Be you. ln every sense, be you.