O.K.U. Week 6
First things first.
Everyone take a moment to get loose.
Shake out that negative energy, go ahead get up and jump around if that helps.
Stretch calmly, roll those shoulders, jump up and down, take a deep breath and scream with all your might "I AM AMAZING!"
Do it. Let it out. Come on.
Unless you have little ones napping, then just type it in a loud excited tone and believe it.
I am trying my damnedest to be comfortable with the part of my journey I am on towards a healthier me.
I invite you to do the same.
Too many times we get discouraged because we don't think we are good enough, that we are not making a difference and that we are not ever going to improve.
We just need to throw out that negative thinking now. If we think it, we believe it, and our actions reflect it.
Build yourself up. Be okay with where you are and know you are the single most important catalyst for the change you wish to see.
I went to my gynecologist on Tuesday for a check up. It was a follow up on my lab work, how I was doing on my new medications, how my cycle was and....to see if I had dropped weight.
My appointment was at one in the afternoon. I weighed myself that morning at work. I was terrified to eat or drink anything.
I know, I know, so silly, but I wanted her to see I was serious. That I was dedicated, that I meant I was committed.
Although starving myself in the morning was dumb, I caved and ate and guess what? Didn't gain a million pounds like I had feared I would.
(I know, I know, sometimes I listen to the silly voices too much.)
I got to my doctors appointment and was checked in. Vitals done and my doctor strolled in with an extremely happy look on her face.
She high fived me then went into a hand shake and told me I had dropped eleven pounds since I seen her last (approximately a month).
She was beyond excited for me and I was excited she was excited. I thought she would have wanted me to lose more or expected more.
Even though in the back of my mind I know that it is healthy to lose 1-2 pounds a week, I felt I was going to be dressed down. See why I had us do the chant earlier?
We get stuck focusing on how much better we can do instead of focusing on what we have accomplished.
After our mini-celebration, we talked about my medications and lab results.
Since I have a family history of blood clots (maternal grandfather, mother and maternal aunt) she ran a genetic test to see if I carried the gene that made me more susceptible to getting blood clots-luckily I do not. I was a little confused why she did that, but it was explained that people who do carry that gene have a tendency to miscarry.
She wants to be as prepared as possible as it is one of her goals she said to get me pregnant and wants to know what we may encounter.
Let me just say...I am so glad I have insurance. I almost vomited when I saw the bill for my labwork.
^And that did not include my genetic test.
That was all the other labwork I had done that checked my hormone levels, thyroid, sugar levels etc. My bill ended up only being forty dollars and change.
I put off visiting the doctor for a few years due to not having insurance but after my husband had been at his job for a year they offered insurance and we were beyond glad. If we did not have insurance currently...no way in hell l would be getting the work up and tests or even seeing her.
So I am going to take a moment and be grateful, so darn grateful.
Okay. So my next follow up with her is
September 2nd of this year.
We talked and she said she would be fine with us attempting to get pregnant after I shed thirty more pounds.
We talked for a moment and she asked if
I would be willing to shoot for losing 50 before trying to conceive.
Since the beginning of this year, I've lost thirty pounds.
Ugh. I've been putting this off but you know what? If I am to be completely accepting of my journey l need to be open and transparent.
At the beginning of this year l weighed 427 pounds. Yes, l know how ridicolous that is, but that is my starting point.
No changing that, no going back.
That is where l am at right now. 30 pounds down.
We set a goal to get down to 370 by the time l see her in September.
Then 23 more after that.
So, here's to positive thinking and sticking to my healthy eating choices and exercising.
I am quite a pragmatic person, l know this is possible with a little sweat and dedication but please if you want to send your motivation via prayers, light, love or words of encouragment I promise l'll accept them and put them in my motivation tank.
If you excuse me, I am going to get loose, scream ' l AM AWESOME' and enjoy an intense and refreshing work out.
Happy Monday to you.