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Showing posts from August, 2014

One Guilty Gal-Hopefully Not For Long

AGuilty Pleasure, is something one enjoys and considers pleasurable despite feeling guilt for enjoying it.Predictable, unrealistic  storylines. I love them in a cheap book or a cheesy Hallmark movie that always wraps up the plot nicely with a big shiny bow. I immensely enjoy the tried and true story tellers like Emerson, Austen, Hemingway and King but sometimes I need a little cheesy in my life. It puts a stupid little smile on my face for a few hours and I thoroughly enjoy them. There are other things I need in my life at times and derive the silliest of happy moments from. Why I cannot tell you but I cannot help but notice that some things sit right with my soul.Getting kisses from dogs, enjoying carbs, lip biting, losing myself in volunteering, people watching, old movies and wonderful musicals, loud music, writing until three in the morning, getting goosebumps from a beautifully placed kiss, laughing with strangers, Facebook stalking the Dalai Lama, and being sarcastic all should …

You Got to Accentuate the Positive!

We focus on the negative.

Too much.

Even when there is good sitting right next to the negative, we ignore it and focus on the negative. We worry about it. We obsess about it. We feed into it.

We feed it.

We let it rule our lives.

Whether it is a rude comment a friend has made or a depressing news story, we rewind it and rewatch it, whether on television or in our minds.
It is hard for most of us to relinquish the bad we have heard, noticed, or witnessed and I think for good reason. We want to know about it, commiserate about it and learn from it. We want to know how to avoid it, how to keep it out of our life, and maybe some of us just foster a morbid curiosity for the darker things in life.

It is what it is.

There was a recent story in the NEWS that talked about a gentleman who purposely stopped the 'pay-it-forward' session that was going on at a Starbucks coffee shoppe in Florida. Before he showed up, 458 customers paid-it-forward for the customers behind them. He ch…

Don't Deny Yourself Acceptance

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I did not balloon up to 427 pounds in one night.It was not a weekend of eating poorly and lazing around. It was not simple water weight or bloating that tipped my scales.  It was a lifestyle that brought me to my heaviest that I denied I was living for many years.The people in my life who loved me would bring up my weight, lovingly and honestly, asking how they could help me lose weight.I would answer with shrugging shoulders and a chorus of 'I don't know's trying to convince them that I had no clue how I had gotten so big. I was trying to convince myself I had no clue why I was so big. Denying myself the truth, the pain, my mistakes, and my shortcomings was only hurting me. Killing me slowly.When I went to my doctor she would not push the issue. She would not harp on me or lecture me. She had told me I was intelligent and knew what I needed to do. She said when I was ready to move forward and take weight loss seriously she would be there for me and help me in any way she …

Friday Feats and Fails: August 22, 2014

Today is Friday, glorious, wonderful, splendid Friday.

That means the one and only Hot Ash from More Than Cheese And Beer is hosting Friday Feats and Fails.

It is always a good idea to reflect on how you can improve from the mistakes or failures you made and rejoice in the feats and successes of the week so I am joining in.

So let's start with the Fails of the week:

-Completely skipped Open Mic night. It has been a while since I have performed my spoken word poetry and I let the beast that is known as insecurity riddle me with fear.

I should have gone.

The gallery moved to a new location downtown and it was the first night of Open Mic in a few months. I feel horrible about not going and supporting a business that brings art (in all of its forms) into our community, but I could not shake the funk I was in and did not go. I will work up my courage and go next time.

-I lost my vitamin D pills. They are prescribed and kinda pricey. They cost approximately 35 dollars for 12 pills.…

Love Is What We Make It

Love is patient, love is kind....Funny thing about love is that it is indescribable but easily definable all at once.I know.I know.That makes no sense.But that is what love does to people.It makes the impossible seem ordinary and the rudimentary appear exceptional.Today my husband and I celebrate 8 years of marriage and 13 years together.13 years full of memories, impetuous decisions, silly fights, memorable make-ups, hilarious stories, rough-incredibly rough times YOU never thought youd make it through , and friends and family that have been by our side through it all.I would have never imagined being in a relationship like this and humbled by another soul as an adult.Too many times I felt broken and incomplete when I was younger...and honestly,  that doesn't change as an adult with a snap of the fingers. So most days,  there are reasons I cannot quite explain why....but I feel broken and unworthy.I searched in all the wrong places for love and acceptance and found poor substitut…

Changing is Living

There are things in this world that can defy all logic and break the laws of physics sending you immediately back into time.It can be a laugh that sounds eerily familiar.A place that looks quite similar.Or a conversation that stills your heart and turns back time.Those things that form some semblance of your past initiate the unavoidable time travel.The present folds upon itself letting the past creep back into you, around you.The memories come in a steady stream.

Slowly at first, testing the waters to see if their ships can still sail and if they can make it to the harbor.They will. Once docked, they unload themselves, one by one, until they are no longer identifiable but rather a frenzied mass crawling over one another smothering your present self and forcing you to relive memories, nightmares and dreams from a former you, a different you, someone you were a lifetime ago.And you begin to sputter.Confused and disoriented, you wonder if you ever really changed, if you ever truly evolv…

Fridays Feats And Fails: August 15, 2014

What better way to start the weekend than by admitting our faults and celebrating our accomplishments of this week?The Fails:-I succumbed to being annoyed by other peoples opinions and attempts to undermine me.It was such a ridiculous situation, I hate to be vague about it but I must,  and I let myself get irritated.I knew I had done what I was supposed to do. I knew my partner had done what they were supposed to do, but some drama-causing squanches wanted to stir the shit pot and boy did it get under my skin.Normally, I brush it off and am contented that normally those that stir the shit pot will eventually have to lick the spoon but it just did not calm me this week, so I spent time  being upset for no reason. -Allergies. Demon allergies kicked my butt. When I took the Benadryl it kicked my butt and left me groggy for too long. When I took my Zyrtec it didn't kick in until hours later. Needless to say, I was looking and feeling rough all week.-Robin Williams. To say his passing …

If You Have Nothing Nice To Say...Sit By Me

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People say cruel things.Mean things.Unmistakable, unjust, rude comments.We as a society try to ignore that words can hurt.We recite sayings like "Sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt" trying to convince ourselves that the only true harm is physical.Robin Williams' daughter decided in the wake of her fathers death to delete her social media accounts because she was receiving too many negative and cruel comments.In a time where she should have been focused on healing and grieving she had to-gracefully and tactfully may I add-deal with rude, inconsiderate people who only had cruel words to say.I cannot even imagine having strangers, many of them, tear apart someone you love when all you are trying to do is make it through a surreal, life-altering week and trying to figure out how to cope.I can only relate if it was friends tearing apart my loved one.Years ago I lost a friend to an accidental overdose.She had one hell of a go at life, with shitstor…

Sunday Confessions: Sex

Sex is not bad.Enjoying sex does not make you a wanton whore.Having sex with multiple partners does not make you a slut or a target for ridicule.Having an S.T.D. (sexually transmitted disease) or an S.T.I. (Sexually Transmitted Infection) does not devalue your worth as a human.Sex is not bad.I feel I need to reiterate this point, and probably will several times, because our society has an awkward love-hate, love-the-intercourse-but-judge-the-fornicator relationship with sex.There is an odd value put on a young woman who is a virgin.She is considered pure, virtous, and upstanding because she has chosen not to do something.That seems asinine to me.A person is not worthy of praise because they have not put a penis in a vagina, anus, or mouth, or because they have not yet been penetrated with a penis, toy or fingers. Likewise, an adult does not deserve ridicule for still being a virgin.It is their choice, their body, their journey.What if someone was in love with their partner of three ye…

Secret Subject Swap August 8th, 2014

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Today I am among 14 wonderful bloggers who signed up for August's Secret Subject Swap. This week bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in our own style.

And here is where you get to enjoy--today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts!

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In a Tornado
The Momisodes
Spatulas on Parade
Confessions of a part-time working mom
Juicebox Confession
Evil Joy Speaks
Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
Follow me home . . .
Someone Else’s Genius
Crumpets and Bollocks
Stacy Sews and Schools
Climaxed
The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

My “Secret Subject” is: What are the most / least important and valuable things you learned in school?

It was submitted by: Confessions of a part-time working mom (Thank you Tamara!!!)

I went to a private school until 8th grade. When I got to h…

Sunday Confessions: Hope

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eyeAnd roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated....That is the beginning of the song Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional.It is one of my favorite songs.Whenever I hear it, I find myself singing along in an almost reverent whisper. When the song builds up to the chorus, so does my voice and I belt out the words with all my heart and no shame.Music does that to me. It allows me to feel consoled and absolved, angered and calm, inspired and comfortable. It teases and touches the soul in a beautiful confusing way.All art does. Music. Paintings. Writing. Theater. It all affects me in ways I am not sure I fully comprehend and sometimes evokes emotions I am not ready to handle yet.Art provides a release, at times entertainment but most importantly a chance to connect to a stranger, to an artist.How can anything demonstrate more hope in the world than that?Art connects …

Friday Feats And Fails

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What better way to start August than by admitting our faults and celebrating our accomplishments of this week?Today I am joining in with Hot Ash from More Than Cheese And Beer for Feats and Fails.Please visit her and see the rest of the bloggers who linked up.Fails:Ever have just a negative feeling that won't go away?  Not quite sure where it is stemming from but it colors your world and your attitude?Yeah. For some reason my attitude got stuck in a funk.  I let the assumption train gather full steam and chug along. I thought I was being ignored. I thought  that some friends were going to bail on me. I thought  I was going to up at weigh in this week.But luckily that assumption train derailed, crashed and burned. No worries, the only fatalities were self-doubt, incorrect assumptions and idiocy jumping to conclusions and useless anxiety.Time and time again people in my life proved they were there for me, things did not unfold as horribly as I thought they would and there was no poi…