Changing is Living

There are things in this world that can defy all logic and break the laws of physics sending you immediately back into time.

It can be a laugh that sounds eerily familiar.

A place that looks quite similar.

Or a conversation that stills your heart and turns back time.

Those things that form some semblance of your past initiate the unavoidable time travel.

The present folds upon itself letting the past creep back into you, around you.

The memories come in a steady stream.

Slowly at first, testing the waters to see if their ships can still sail and if they can make it to the harbor.

They will.

Once docked, they unload themselves, one by one, until they are no longer identifiable but rather a frenzied mass crawling over one another smothering your present self and forcing you to relive memories, nightmares and dreams from a former you, a different you, someone you were a lifetime ago.

And you begin to sputter.

Confused and disoriented, you wonder if you ever really changed, if you ever truly evolved.

You begin to doubt yourself and all the progress you have made.

But you have changed.

You have grown.

You have moved on.

I read a book last night that triggered a million memories.

None of them good.

All of them helped shape who I was, as everything we encounter does, but nonetheless they were not pleasant.

Or fond.

Or happy.

I found myself crying, shaking and upset.

Instantly feeling ashamed of who I was and my past.

Forgetting that accepting change and circumstances empower you and that implementing change invests in who you can be, who you need to be, who you want to be-choosing to change invests in your future.

Overwhelming memories can do that to you.

They can dredge up painful, degrading emotions and false niceties.

They can paralyze you and make you forget the progress you have made.

But they cannot define you.

Only you can do that.

Choosing to live the way you want-

Choosing to evolve-

Choosing to forgive-

Choosing to love-

Choosing to move on-

is accepting change.

It is accepting life for all the pain, failures and ugliness in the world.

It is choosing to rise above.

To overcome the shadow of your former self.

It is accepting defeat and growing from it.

It is choosing to look for the silver linings, the hard lessons, and finding the love and beauty within it all.

It is choosing to be the person you want to be.

You can change your outer world all you want.

Make more money, get a fabulous job, buy a huge house, fill it with tons of people.

But if you do not change within, change the way you think about others and yourself, you will be stuck in the past.

You will slowly rot from the inside out.

Refusing to embrace the day and the change that brings you life will damage you.

Refusing to forgive yourself, your past, the people who hurt you hurts you.

Refusing to evolve, to change, to accept and move on, pains you.

You cannot change the past. You cannot change memories or alter your scars. 

You cannot change other people.

But you can change you.

Choose to move on, grow, and change.

Ask for help if you need to, but do not allow yourself to become trapped in the past, in the pain.

Choosing to burst out of your cocoon and spread those wings and fly amongst the winds of change is giving yourself freedom.

Perhaps even allowing you the grace to acknowledge a painful past but also the ability to move on and look forward to the future.

Adapt. Evolve. Live. Learn. Change.

Do not fear the changes that are to come, they are part of you, they help form and shape you, they are part of your future.

Choose to live your life so when you get sucked into the pain of the past, the mistakes made, the heartbreak, regret and things you simply cannot change you can acknowledge it.

Accept it.

Take a moment to realize how much you have grown and changed.

Breathe deeply and move on.

You may not know what your future holds but you can damn sure make your today better by not allowing yourself to get stuck in the past.


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