Showing posts from September, 2014

I'm Not A Bitch But...

sometimes want to be. I want to let my guard down, let my emotions get the justice they deserve, simply put, I don't want to apologize for feeling the way I feel.I am five days late for my period. I know I am not pregnant, not only because at this point we are actively not trying until I'm at a healthier weight, not only because I'm on birth control but because when I get that tiny, glimmer of hope I have to check. I have to just see if maybe a miracle has finally happened but those cruel damn sticks bodly and unequivocally tell me I am not pregnant. Every time.Since the time of my childhood I have loved children. I know, that sounds weird, but I always appreciated and loved the relationship between a mother and a child. The ability to bring life. To me that was the most important job in the world. To me that is the most important and beautiful job in the world.I know you may think you are being helpful or funny when you say any of the following: "Maybe it's not m…

Reach And Work For It

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you will land among the stars." What.Kind.Of.Crap.Is.That?Yes, I understand it. I support positivity and quotes and inspirational memes and lyrics that urge us to follow our dreams. But I also support realism. I don't want the moon. I don't want to be somewhere I cannot breathe. I don't want to land among the stars either. Don't people understand that they are made of gases and will kill you? I want to be able to reach for dreams, my life goals with grace and poise, with an understanding they are plausible and possible. Unfortunately, I have reached the point in my life where I am not sure if I should push on or give in to the mediocrity I worry awaits me. I used to wake in the middle of the night clutching, grasping, reaching for the closest instrument that could  properly catch the idea or stanza that sang to my soul. Now, when those ideas tempt me, when they tease me I only half-open one eye and debate writing them dow…

Friday Feats and Fails: September 26th, 2014

It is always good to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself and your week right? Well I am taking that opportunity today and joining in with More Than Cheese and Beer and some other awesome bloggers to focus on my feats and figure out my fails. Let's start with the Fails, it is always best to get them out of the way:-Boo to my back being cruel and cranky. I threw it out with some heavy balls-gosh I wish tht was a euphemism, but it so isn't. Just a ten pound ball and the back turned just the wrong way and it has caused me days of pain. But it slowly getting better. -I have been super bad at counting my calories and entering my foods and exercise into My Fitness Pal. So going to rectify this.-I may have lost my wedding ring. I should be more concerned but things tend to turn up, so that is what I am banking on. (Please universe, be nice to me on this one). -Doing the not so fun exercises that help my back. It helps in the long run, but oh the burn and getting off the ground i…

Revenge? No thanks.

I am not a complicated person.I do not do revenge. I cannot. It gets messy. I don't like messy.Do I have people I have hurt? Yes. Did I set out to hurt them-no. Have people ever hurt me? Oh goodness yes.Why no revenge?Why not carve time out of my precious days on this earth to focus on being cruel and mean to someone who has hurt me?Why not just ask them to hurt me over and over again?Revenge is, cruel, it is mean, it is giving the target control over your emotions whether you want to admit it or not. It is allowing someone who hurt you to drive your actions. It does nothing but perpetuate the circle of pain in this world. If your point of seeking revenge is to show the person how much they hurt you, I find that useless, because they know exactly how much they hurt you with their callous actions and words-they just do not care.They do not care.It is best to heal yourself, to lick your wounds, to find the happy in your soul and focus on growing it and move on.Revenge fills your sou…

Sunday Confessions: My First Love

Today I am linking up with the wonderful Hot Ash from More Than Cheese And Beer for Sunday Confessions. The prompt is First Love. Grab a cup of something tasty, sit back and relax and read on and please don't forgret to head on back to the link up and check out the other brave bloggers who joined in today.I was born a hopeless romantic. It is a cruel fate for a girl living in this world. I always imagined my first relationship to be of mushy love poems, saccharin sweet nick names and a lot of hand holding and splitting ice cream sundaes.My first love, my first head-over-heels, butterflies dancing in my tummy, awkward, blush inducing, ugly crying when the heartbreak came was a disaster. I make no pretense of a happy, pure, sweet love. It was wrong and hidden and even 16 years later I find myself having trouble writing about it. Writing about him.He wasn't my first kiss.He wasn't the first to cop a feel.He was, however, the first that made me feel. Good and bad. Physically a…

Use Your Words: September 12, 2014

Happy Friday friends!Today’s post is a writing challenge.This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them.I’m using: death first ~ neverending ~ love ~ honor ~ green jelloThey were submitted by: Robin from Someone Else's Genius. Thanks Robin :)

The sun shone dimly through the kitchen window. I stood in the kitchen I had grown up in, shaking and gripping the counter for dear life. The day that was just breaking should be full of promise and hope but it was simply breaking-like I was.

My you…

Featurette Wednesday: September 10, 2014

It has been a while since I have done a Featurette on a person.

I think it is time to bring this back. In the past, I have done my featurettes on Fridays, but I think Wednesdays work better as I am currently doing Wonderful Wednesdays where the point is not to ignore the bad and evil in the world, but to focus on the good that is abundant in the world as well.
Featurette Wednesday is now the name.

Kindness is the game.

Typically, in the past on Fridays, I interview a person with the majority of questions focusing on kindness.

But why?

Because we see negativity every day and I think it is important to focus on the positive and remind ourselves that there are wonderful people in this world.

No matter a person's background, status, or creed I believe they have been shown kindness in their life and have shown others kindness as well.

And I would like to tell that story.

Josephine is a volunteer at my work. Whenever she is here, she lights the place up with her contagious smile, ea…

Little Shop Of Positivity

It was pathetic.A brown, scrawny, little rose plant in a lady bug container barely holding on.My mom wanted to buy it. It was beyond reduced, for the little guy the store had marked it down to .99 cents. I did not see the point in spending money on something that was so obviously doomed from the beginning.And my mom? Well, I wouldn't necessarily say she has a green thumb. She sometimes gets distracted by other projects and in the past her plants have paid the penalty.We argued, because that's how we communicate, about why she would even want it. She was certain she could save it, and if not she added, it was only .99 cents. It has been almost six months and she has loved this plant back to life. That is the only explanation. She was patient, she watered it, made sure it got sunlight, trimmed its leaves and talked to it. She loved it back to life.

Literally, the plant was wilted, brown, and draped its dying body over the cheap lady bug pot when we first spotted it in the store.

Live To Regret Little

It was the twilight part of a crisp autumn day. Where the day lingers to kiss the night with its colorful hello of streaks of red and purple in the sky.There was a sickening feeling of anticipation and excitement that only months of planning could give you. Nervousness sat in our throats.My literary club, Writer's Block, was hosting a booth in the Haunted Hayride and we had worked so damn hard on it. I was busy decorating and rotating pumpkins and gourds just right so they looked perfect.Just as I was getting ready to get my scary make up applied out of the corner of my eye, I saw my neighbor walk up slowly to my teacher. They briefly talked and my teacher nodded her head curtly. I watched her face slack from slight annoyance from being interrupted to  instantly taut and strained.  I watched as she craned her neck to scan over our heads looking for me.When she saw me she made no pretense of a smile, she just nodded her head at me and I knew I had to leave. I thought my mom was sic…

Secret Subject Swap: September 5, 2014

Happy, happy Friday!Welcome to the Secret Subject Swap, hosted by the wonderful Karen from Baking In A Tornado. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and
were assigned a secret subject to
interpret in their own style. Today we
are all simultaneously divulging our
topics and submitting our posts.Here are links to all the sites now
featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.
Sit back, grab a cup, (or a shot-we don't judge) and check us all out. See you there:Baking In A TornadoThe MomisodesSpatulas on ParadeStacy Sews and SchoolsSparkly Poetic WeirdoEvil Joy SpeaksConfessions of a part-time
working momSomeone Else’s GeniusDinosaur Superhero MommyThe Bergham’s Life ChroniclesClimaxedMy prompt is:If you were tasked with providing a full day of food (3 meals including
beverages, 2 snacks, 1 dessert) for a
foreign dignitary, and you knew their
satisfaction with the foods you provide could have an impact on the future relations between the two countries (yours and th…