Secret Subject Swap: November 7, 2014

Happy Friday and welcome to November's Secret Subject Swap!

This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and
were assigned a secret subject to
interpret in their own style. Today we
are all simultaneously divulging our
topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now
featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.

So find a comfy spot, grab a snack and see where our secret subjects took us!

Baking In A Tornado

The Momisodes

Spatulas on Parade

Stacy Sews and Schools

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy


Someone Else's Genius

The Bergham's Life Chronicles

Confessions of a part-time working mom

Silence of The Mom

Crumpets and Bollocks

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

My “Secret Subject” is:

"What would you do if someone gave you $1M?"

It was submitted by: Silence of The Mom

Why would someone give me a million dollars?

I feel for the sake of this scenario I need to say someone paid me my winnings from a lottery ticket or I received it as a gesture of a random act of kindness by some millionaire realized money was not everything and to prove it, he was randomly giving away some of his fortune.

Yeah, let's go with that. If not, my mind will wander and I'll be afraid the money was ill-gotten. Like a bribe or laundered money or something. My conscious would not be able to handle that and it would sour this sweet, fictional, scenario and we don't want to do that.

Let's go with the scenario that I was walking down the road with Rufus, my loyal and loving chihuahua, when a dapper dressed man, by the name of Reginald Wealthingston engages me.

Reginald inquires to how my day was, and on the day where I'm off work, spending time with loved ones and basking in the beauty of fall, I answer the only way I can, "beautiful, simply beautiful" with a sigh of contentment.

He is charmed immediately by my happiness, grace and my clever maneuvering skills to avoid Rufus' ridiculously far-stretching stream of urine.  The sun warmed our back as we walked down the road together, though I've never met him before I felt comfortable answering this odd man's questions. I figured he was searching for some right answer, something specific, I didn't know what that was and could only offer him what I had to say. Hopefully that would be enough.

My music infiltrated a silent but comfortable lull in the conversation.

"May I ask what you're listening to?"

"This? Oh it's a mash-up of everything, but this particular song I Need A Man To Love by the one and only Janis".

Reginald brought our walking to a halt when he asked me "Janis who?"

I sputtered for a moment and before I could calmly articulate who she was, why I loved her passionate music loud words tumbled out of my mouth. "Janis Joplin. The Janis Joplin. Raspy, bluesy, part of the Forever 27 club Janis? None of this is ringing  a bell?!"

A sheepish, amused but curious smile formed a silent  "no" on his lips. We spent the next 40 minutes talking music. He would occasionally look taken aback when I got really excited and squee out some random fact or search for a song he "just had to hear".

Mid-sentence, explaining who Trampled By Turtles was I realized I had been outside, way too long as my shivering pup, was now lazily chewing on my pant leg as an attempt to drag me back inside. I sincerely apologized and explained it was time to go inside, invited him in but he politely declined mysteriously quipping that he had spent too much of his life indoors.

As we said our goodbyes, he asked if he could ask me one more thing, then he came close and put his hands on my shoulders. I feared I would have to break his hands or worse his heart. I understand, I am highly seductive with my words, it's not his fault if he confused my passion for flirting or mild attraction to him, but alas my heart belongs to one and it wasn't him. I braced myself, but the question he asked popped my overinflated ego and gave me pause.

"What would you do if I gave you a million dollars?"

"Nothing sketchy, if that's what you mean. Definitely no sexual acts Mister so get that thought out of your head. Pay some bills, go on a vacation, fight my inner child and talk them out of buying a nacho fountain. Honestly, probably keep on with life and try not to be foolish", I said wondering where that came from.

"Reach in my pocket, Jenn".

"Nope. Heard that line before. Thanks for making this morning creepy. Have a good one", I called as I picked up my chi and scurried homeward bound.

His laughter annoyed me but I ignored his calls to come back, but eventually I heard his soft footfalls crunch on the gravel next to me.

"Just so you know", I panted while trying to put some space between us, "I have no problem kneeing you in the nuts".

He laughed again, and apologized. "I should have just gave it to you, note, next time do not ask a lady to reach in your pocket".

I stopped,  suspicious, half-turned and watched in awe as he pulled out bundles of bills from his coat pockets and he kept trying to hand them to me.

"I don't understand", my voice barely audible.

"You don't need to. It's legal. It's yours. It's a random act of kindness, now go enjoy your day" he said leaving me in my yard with money jammed in my hoodie and confusion coursing through my veins. I watched as a beautiful towncar scooped him up as if right on cue, and he waved goodbye.

Once safely inside my home, I promptly passed out from shock.

                 *         *         *          *

Here's the thing there's 2 Jenns.

One Jenn is logical, fiscally conservative and kinda boring. We shall refer to her as Old Jenn or OJ.

Then, there's the Jenn who was raised poor. Just didn't have the money. Not a big deal, it just influenced my impulsive side a bit. This Jenn always said if she got money she'd waste it, blow it, spend it on fun things because life is too short. We'll call this Jenn, Idiot Jenn, or IJ.

I have a feeling that the majority of OJ would  control the money. Thankfully.

-I would pay off any and all bills.
-Buy a reasonable priced house on some nice property, away from humanity.
-Go to Iceland.
-Take my mom on vacation wherever she wanted to go.
-Put some money aside for friends kids college funds.
-I would make donations to charities I believe in and those that helped me when I was growing up.
-I would definitely keep working and volunteering, one million dollars is not that much in the long run.

But after I took care of business, after all the affairs are in order, that's when IJ would kick in. I would possibly give into a wall covered in swarovsky crystals, get Rufus a diamond encrusted leather jacket, order like a hundred pizzas and give them away on the street corner.

Yeah...yeah that's why we are thankful OJ would be in control of finances.

What would you do if you were given 1 million dollars?


  1. Love the back story.
    OJ and IJ are a great balance, if you're ever given a million dollars I hope they both get to spend it!

    1. Thanks Karen!

      If I ever see Mr. Wealthingston walking around I'll be sure to have a nice big ole purse to collect his kind gift! :-)

  2. Reginald Wealthingston, hahaha! Great story!
    Love your pizza day :-)
    I'd probably be the same way. OT first, then a little bit of IT.

    1. As long as it balances out in the end that's all that matters :-)

  3. TOOO FUNNY!!!
    I think both OJ and IJ should spend a little. ;)

  4. I'm with IJ. Pizzas for everyone!

  5. sounds like a great you just need the money. Great way to start the prompt


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fat Girl Diaries: Thoughts on Losing A Whole Person And Still Being Really Fat

The Last Day My Mom Was My Mom

Fat Woman Taking Erotic Photos-Scratch That: Let's Go with....Woman Taking Photos Celebrating Her Body