Secret Subject Swap: December 5, 2014
Hello and happy Friday!
Welcome, welcome, and welcome to December's Secret Subject Swap! This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
So get comfy, grab your peepers, a snack and a sippy and get ready to read!
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
My “Secret Subject” is:
As the year comes to a close, we all tend to talk about what things we were grateful for in the past year. Tell us about some thing(s) that you’re actually grateful to have over and done with in the past year,that you hope not to repeat next year.
It was submitted by the amazing Karen from Baking In A Tornado! Thanks Karen 😄
Becoming comfortable in my skin.
I do not think it is something I am done and over with as it is a constant battle for me to like myself. To be myself. To do what I want. But everything I am glad I got through, accomplished this year, or started is all due in part or related to finally becoming comfortable in my skin.
This year was the year I decided to begin my blogging journey. I never thought I would ever have enough courage to do so. I never thought I would be able to share my poetry or musings with strangers. I never thought because of blogging I would meet so many wonderful people who I now call friends. I was wrong and so glad I was. I chose to open myself up and put myself out there in a way I never have before.
I kept my writing hidden for most of my life and the first time I showed someone in my life my poetry they loved it. Raved about it. They flattered me and asked for a copy so I wrote it out (yes by hand in the good olden days of the 90s) and I gave it to them. They even entered it in a contest. And got it published in a book. Under their name. After that and listening to rude people telling me that writing was useless, I gave up a piece of my heart.
Even though writing gave me immense joy, I chose to hide it away. If I wrote, even if I found it particularly funny, insightful or clever, I would berate myself telling myself that it was a waste of time. That no one would ever want to read it. That I was useless. Until fairly recently, I was quite mean to myself. Let me tell you, that is no way to live.
Over the years I have met some amazing people that have countered every self doubt and criticism I have ever brought to light with love and acceptance. They have taught me that I have an amazing worth and helped me build myself back up. They have urged me to do what I want, what I need to do, and to do it without worry, shame, or fear.
So. I began to blog. And share myself. And give zero fucks if people love it or hate it. It is a part of me I refuse to censor anymore.
I cut ties with a toxic relationship. A person can mean the world to you but if they are constantly draining you of your energy, making you feel bad about what you want to do, mocking you and tearing you down there comes a point where you have to say goodbye and move on. Life is too short to accept shit from people that are supposed to be your friends.
This year, this glorious year, I decided I was done pretending to be something I was not-happy with my health. I have not been happy with my weight for a long, long time.
Please do not confuse that with me being unhappy with myself. I have been unhappy and ashamed of myself in the past. That is not what this is. I find myself smart, witty, artistic, and kind. I love myself.
Because I love myself, I am choosing a healthier lifestyle. I still have a long way to go but I started. I finally started. I put off waiting until Monday, or next week, or after the holidays. I sought help. I joined a support group, I have began eating better, working out and consciously making better choices. I am at a plateau right now. I am so close to losing 50 pounds it is teasing and annoying me to no end. I am hoping to meet that goal by the end of the year.
I am grateful that I have started a journey to be a happier me on every level. Spiritually, emotionally and physically I have made progress in becoming a healthier me. It has taken many years to become this person. This person who no longer cares what people think of them. This person that let go of fear and is finding happiness instead. This person who took a chance and has had one of the best years that she can remember in a while.
I am glad I got these things over and done with not only because they were rough or hard to deal with but because they helped me grow. Helped me change. Helped me be who I am.
I woud not want to do any of this next year because it would mean I lost everything I gained and I refuse to do that.
May this upcoming year be full of adventure, overcoming fears, finding yourself and loving your life.