Secret Subject Swap: December 5, 2014

Hello and happy Friday!

Welcome, welcome, and welcome to December's Secret Subject Swap! This week, 12 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

So get comfy, grab your peepers, a snack and a sippy and get ready to read!
 
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

  Baking In A Tornado

 The Momisodes

Spatulas On Parade

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

Stacy Sews and Schools

The Bergham’s Life Chronicles 

Evil Joy Speaks

Juicebox Confession

Confessions of a part-time working mom

Silence of the Mom

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo

Climaxed

My “Secret Subject” is:

As the year comes to a close, we all tend to talk about what things we were grateful for in the past year. Tell us about some thing(s) that you’re actually grateful to have over and done with in the past year,that you hope not to repeat next year.

It was submitted by the amazing Karen from Baking In A Tornado! Thanks Karen 😄                               

Becoming comfortable in my skin.

I do not think it is something I am done and over with as it is a constant battle for me to like myself. To be myself. To do what I want. But everything I am glad I got through, accomplished this year, or started is all due in part or related to finally becoming comfortable in my skin.

This year was the year I decided to begin my blogging journey. I never thought I would ever have enough courage to do so. I never thought I would be able to share my poetry or musings with strangers. I never thought because of blogging I would meet so many wonderful people who I now call friends. I was wrong and so glad I was. I chose to open myself up and put myself out there in a way I never have before.

I kept my writing hidden for most of my life and the first time I showed someone in my life my poetry they loved it. Raved about it.  They flattered me and asked for a copy so I wrote it out (yes by hand in the good olden days of the 90s) and I gave it to them. They even entered it in a contest. And got it published in a book. Under their name. After that and listening to rude people telling me that writing was useless, I gave up a piece of my heart.

Even though writing gave me immense joy, I chose to hide it away. If I wrote, even if I found it particularly funny, insightful or clever, I would berate myself telling myself that it was a waste of time. That no one would ever want to read it. That I was useless. Until fairly recently, I was quite mean to myself. Let me tell you, that is no way to live.

Over the years I have met some amazing people that have countered every self doubt and criticism I have ever brought to light with love and acceptance. They have taught me that I have an amazing worth and helped me build myself back up. They have urged me to do what I want, what I need to do, and to do it without worry, shame, or fear.

So. I began to blog. And share myself. And give zero fucks if people love it or hate it. It is a part of me I refuse to censor anymore.

I cut ties with a toxic relationship. A person can mean the world to you but if they are constantly draining you of your energy, making you feel bad about what you want to do, mocking you and tearing you down there comes a point where you have to say goodbye and move on. Life is too short to accept shit from people that are supposed to be your friends.

This year, this glorious year, I decided I was done pretending to be something I was not-happy with my health. I have not been happy with my weight for a long, long time.

Please do not confuse that with me being unhappy with myself. I have been unhappy and ashamed of myself in the past. That is not what this is. I find myself smart, witty, artistic, and kind. I love myself.

Because I love myself, I am choosing a healthier lifestyle. I still have a long way to go but I started. I finally started. I put off waiting until Monday, or next week, or after the holidays. I sought help. I joined a support group, I have began eating better, working out and consciously making better choices. I am at a plateau right now. I am so close to losing 50 pounds it is teasing and annoying me to no end. I am hoping to meet that goal by the end of the year.

I am grateful that I have started a journey to be a happier me on every level. Spiritually, emotionally and physically I have made progress in becoming a healthier me. It has taken many years to become this person. This person who no longer cares what people think of them. This person that let go of fear and is finding happiness instead. This person who took a chance and has had one of the best years that she can remember in a while.

I am glad I got these things over and done with not only because they were rough or hard to deal with but because they helped me grow. Helped me change. Helped me be who I am.

I woud not want to do any of  this next year because it would mean I lost everything I gained and I refuse to do that.

May this upcoming year be full of adventure, overcoming fears, finding yourself and loving your life.

Comments

  1. You've had such an eventful year. Not one to repeat, but a great base to move on from. I'll be here rooting for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely a great base to build towards my goals. Thank you Karen.

      Delete
  2. YAY for you!!!! I am so glad that you decided to start blogging! I am so glad that you are aware of your self worth! Those are amazing accomplishments!
    I wish you so much luck in the New Year!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Stacy!

      I wish you love and healing in the New Year friend xo

      Delete
  3. I am not one for rude language, but you know what I probably liked the best about your post - even though it was great all the way - what did you call it?

    "Give zero fucks if people love it or hate it"

    Epic! :-)

    Your journey is so admirable, and I hope you are going to keep being true to yourself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, sorry Tamara!

      It's not normally my style but it came out in my writing. I debated deleting it or changing it but it didn't feel right especially when I was writing about not censoring myself 😉

      Delete
  4. The toughest journey I've ever been on myself and I fail as much as I succeed, but we'll get there. We're strong and we can do this!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is a tough journey. But we can do it most definitely!

      Delete
  5. Love this post! I'm so grateful you're blogging! I enjoy your posts a great deal! Congratulations on all your positive changes!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are so talented and I'm thankful you've decided to share it with the world! Here's to an amazing 2014 coming to a close and all the amazing things waiting for us in 2015!!!

    ReplyDelete

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