Don't Pull Yourself Down

Recently I was told a coworker, a friend, thought my job was boring. Naturally, I was enlightened because so and so told so and so and it made its way to me. That is the amazing thing about gossip, it has no barriers, no fears, there's little to stop it but seemingly it feeds on almost anything. Almost instantly, I became defensive about my position. I was upset and wondered why she would say that to others rather than ever mention it to me...when many times she had expressed genuine interest about my job.

Then I realized I was being sucked into a pulling, suffocating, vortex of unknown words, opinions and facts. I had to pull myself back, stop and think for a moment why was I becoming upset by what someone said. Or possibly said.

Unfortunately, it is easier to be pulled down then it is to be pulled upwards. There are many factors that make it easier to bring us down including that we are predisposed to believe the worst in people, we tend to believe that once we are down in the dumps that is where we are meant to stay and of course, in the most literal sense, gravity likes to keep us down.

It is extremely difficult to pull ourselves up when we have been knocked down. It can be difficult to extract ourselves from a salacious gossip fest. When it comes to pulling our heads out of our asses it can be almost impossible.

To be swept away with our emotions and reactions is quite easy. It is hard to take a step back and be objective of a situation, especially when we are being attacked, or think we are.

When we take a moment to see the whole situation, to ask ourselves the important questions, and to gather the facts we are able to gain some stable ground and in turn become grounded.

I am not sure why I instantly became riled up when someone said my job was boring.

My job is quite boring.

I do nothing exciting or enthralling. I am the connector. When you talk to me, I am offering education on why we are calling you back for additional views from your mammogram. I explain what we are seeing on your films.  I listen to you, explain to you, and get you in as quickly as possible. I am the person who if you have no coverage I help get you covered under a grant so you get your mammogram, ultrasound or biopsy done. I will request proper orders so your insurance will cover your tests. I am annoying and do not quit until I get the correct orders/diagnosis/clock position. I fight with the hospital schedulers who sometimes get you before me to make sure you are on for the right test. I get your pathology results from your biopsies and help get the ball rolling so you are notified quickly and properly. I make sure you get navigated to the correct people. I get your authorization for MRI's and genetic testing. Rarely will you see my face as only one day a week I am in patient care doing your vitals, taking your personal and family history, asking and answering questions that you may have. Rarely will you remember my name. You will remember the name of our doctors, our mammo and ultrasound techs, our procedure nurses, our cancer nurse and our High Risk coordinator. But myself, and my two main co-workers' names will most likely elude you.

We do the boring part. We do the behind the scenes part. We do the tedious part. We do very necessary parts so you receive the best care possible. And that's okay. I love what I do. I love helping people. I love listening. I love my boring. The adjective boring is nothing offensive to me so why did I get so upset when I heard someone supposedly describe my job that way?

Because I reacted before I thought. I leaped before listening and I should have learned better by now. But it is hard to avoid that pull downwards. It is natural when we are being tugged down to fall fast. We have learned that if we struggle, if we resist the pull that when we do fall, we fall harder and hurt ourselves worse than if we would have gone with the flow.

Standing firm and refusing to be pulled down is hard. Letting ourselves be pulled down is harder. Pulling ourselves up after we allowed ourselves to be drug down is the hardest, most difficult thing we have to do sometimes. But also the most rewarding.

For the record, the person who supposedly said my job was boring was very misquoted. I know this because I asked her directly because I was curious and sick of third person recounts. And I am glad I did.

You cannot control what people say, what they gossip about, how they try to shake or shape you, but you can choose how you respond and react to them and refuse to be pulled into their drama or down to a level that is going to be hard to crawl out of.

This has been a Sunday Confession with the awesome More Than Cheese And Beer. Please check out her Facebook page for anonymous confessions and her blog to see how she and the other brave bloggers attacked the prompt 'pull'.

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