Panting To A Better Me

I run.

Well, I jog. Barely. But I do it. For 45 minutes at least 3 times a week if not more. When I step off the treadmill, I still shake and pant like I did on day one.

Difference between now and day 1 is that even though I pant, even though I still sweat profusely, even though I hate it still, I have grown because of it and worked up an endurance that I thought I would never have. 

There are some aspects of my life I cannot control. I would like to control them very much but it will never happen. It is frustrating, maddening and unchangeable. It is what it is. 

Me? I can change me. I can go to the gym, put on my headphones and listen to Janis serenade me as I meet my personal best. I can watch my weight get lower and parts become toner.  I can continue to go to therapy and delve into the darkness that plagues me with someone who cares and works with me to make it manageable and better. Every time I do these things, I end up bent over panting because it's exhausting, life changing and exciting.

And, I'll keep doing it.

Because I know with these changes I know I can love myself a little more. Accept myself and my body as it is and as I make these physical, mental and spiritual  transformations. 


Today has been a Sunday Confession with the one and only More Than Cheese And Beer about'pant'. If you have a blog to link up on 'pant' please head over to 
More Than Cheese And Beer  (link below) to do so.


  1. I don't like running, but I know I really need to get some exercise. I'm looking into some classes at the gym for the fall. I hope I can find some hat fit with my schedule and get me moving!

    1. I hate's worth it in the end. But there is so many other things to do the evil elliptical...


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Fat Girl Diaries: Thoughts on Losing A Whole Person And Still Being Really Fat

The Last Day My Mom Was My Mom

Fat Woman Taking Erotic Photos-Scratch That: Let's Go with....Woman Taking Photos Celebrating Her Body