Secret Subject Swap: September 4th, 2015

Hello and Happy Friday!!!
 
Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 
 
My secret subject is: 

Stream of Conscious: Write for 10 minutes. Talk about your day, your thoughts, what you're dreaming of, what you're scared of. Just write and don't stop for a good 10 minutes.
 
It was submitted by: House of J Chronicles-- thank you!     
 
Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
 
 
It is hot as balls in the house. Mom is freezing though, so I would rather be hot than have her anymore uncomfortable than she has been lately. Not sure if it has anything to do with her congestive heart failure, probably so-something with circulation-I'll have to ask the cardiologist next week. 

Speaking of next week, I have to get my planner out and write down all her appointments off the calendar. I can't believe it is already September. This year has flown by, but then again it always does. I need to plan something for mom's birthday, I just hope she's feeling better by then to actually enjoy it.

Enjoy. Enjoyable. Life should be enjoyable. Why can't I just be happy? Why can't there be some amazing switch that I can flick so my feelings can match the smile I pin to my face? Why is it hard to admit I struggle? It's okay to not be okay. This we need to say more. We need to support those who feel broken and damaged and love them harder...not make them feel like a freak for simply feeling their feelings.

I find I worry about everyone else's happiness and contentment and push mine to the back burner. I can find beauty in everyone else and everything around me but I can't find redeeming qualities or beauty in myself. It's pretty damn sad, especially when I truly believe and know the importance of knowing and owning your self-worth.

One day I'll get there.

Ugh, today is my day off, but I have so much running around to do I think I'd rather be at work. I'm refusing to adult for a little longer, instead I'm going to cuddle my husband and dog who are peacefully sleeping next to me for a few more minutes. These little things, these little moments are my favorite. It is nice to be able to get lost in a moment of cuddling and not have to worry or plan allthedamnthingsintheworld.  I wouldn't say they necessarily make life 
worthwhile but damn...they sure do help put things in perspective of what is important.

Okay...that has been my ten minute stream of consciousness...I hope it makes sense and think it's an awesome tool. Maybe not for writing fodder...but helps you look and see whats truly on your mind...and heart.


Comments

  1. LOVE LOVE LOVE that you started with it being as hot as balls!!!! I think my stream of consciousness would have had a few f*cks in c*nts in there. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol! When I speak trust me, I'm dropping those left and right...but when I was typing they just didn't pop to the front of my mind.

      Guess it's my mouth that's dirty. πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  2. I enjoyed it too! What an awesome exercise I think I'm going to try it just to see what comes out. It sounds to me like you are a caregiver like me. I take care of my mom as well. It can be very overwhelming that's for sure. I had to laugh at the allthedamnthingsintheworld! I know exactly how that feels! That pretty much sums up my life!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ❤ Caregivers unite! ❤

      I'm just recently learning to take time for myself or face blowing up/having a mini breakdown at the most inopportune times...

      Delete
  3. It's amazing to think that our mind wanders around different topics all day long yet if we aren't forced to concentrate on where it is, we miss so much of it.
    Love the ending. Start your day with a cuddle and it's bound to be a good one, no matter how busy it is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. allthedamnthingsintheworld vs the sweet little enjoyable everyday things: love the insight into your train of thoughts!

    When is your Mom's birthday?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. September 18th! She will be 68 but if she asks, I told you she would be 35....πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  5. My mind bounces around like that a lot too. Sometimes I'll get to the end of a thought and try to back track to see if I can remember how I got there. I"m about 50/50 on that game!

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    Replies
    1. Lol me too Rabia! If I wasn't jotting it down...no way I'd remember my train of thoughts. πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  6. You cherished the moment in ten minutes!!! I love this!! So very much!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love you my original cherisher of moments! ❤❤❤

      Delete
  7. Amazing how fast our minds race! 10 minutes of cuddles get me through

    ReplyDelete
  8. I often refuse to adult. Too much going on in the "real" world. Sometimes ya just need a few rainbows, unicorns, and wine. Never forget the wine. πŸ˜‰

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wine and unicorns?

      Heck yes to that refusing-to-adult-party!

      Delete
  9. Oh, it is definitely OK to not be OK. Most of us aren't OK. At least most of the time, if we're honest with ourselves. Most of us put our brave faces on to show the world.

    You're so not alone in that.

    I am tired of adulting to. Can I get off the adult merry-go-round???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This merry-go-round is not as fun as I once thought it would be.

      Luckily though, this ride doesn't only go in circles...it has it's downs but it has wonderful ups too.

      Delete
  10. I must have a million things on my mind at any given moment of the day. Some important some not so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't want to even think of what I have on my mind all day....πŸ˜‰

      Delete
  11. As a writing teacher, these are some of my favorite things to make my students do: freewrite without thinking. :) Always fun to see what pops out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm structured so this one was a challenge for me-but I really enjoyed it.

      Delete
  12. The last time I "free wrote", I ended up writing my first novel. I was in 6th grade.

    I like your stream of consciousness. Mine would look like a train wreck with rubber-neckers. LOL

    ReplyDelete

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