Sharing Time With Myself
It is Sunday and on this reverent day of relaxation that means it is time to share a story.
I have been working on my own story lately. Trying to find out exactly where I fit in. Slowly but surely I'm finally realizing that I actually don't quite fit in and that's perfectly okay. I've worked on loving myself and falling in love with myself over the past couple years but I have failed myself by focusing on my goals.
Having goals and working towards them is never a bad thing. However, tying your worth to whether or not you meet those goals is problematic. It has been no secret that I am still trying to lose weight and that I desperately want to start a family of my own. I have made progress, I have had setbacks, I have wondered and wandered down the path of self-doubt all while fighting low self-esteem.
I have been seeing a therapist who I believe to be a godsend. She is sweet but straight to the point. She doesn't let me get away with humorous self-deprecating remarks and forces me to evaluate myself honestly.
It may be the hardest work I have ever done. But it's necessary for me to move forward, to change, to help myself, and of course to continue with my story.
For the longest time I believed when I *finally* met my weight goal I would be happy or that I would not have severe issues to deal with-but that is nowhere near the truth. Life will still be what it is, whether I get bigger or smaller, nicer or meaner, hardships and joys will still happen and ultimately this body is still mine. This life is still mine. The only thing I have learned on this journey is that I do not have time to wait to love myself. Whether I meet my goals or not this body I am in is still me.
Throughout my life I will share many things with family, friends, co-workers and strangers. I will share laughter, tears, smiles, intimate moments and witness terrible events with these people. But the person I will share the most time with over all the years is myself, so I better start creating happy memories with me as I have no one else to rely on to do so.
Through sharing we connect. Sometimes we connect with others and build a relationship and other times we connect with our inner selves and realize what resonates with our souls.
Always consider sharing your story as you never know who will connect or be inspired by it. But, more importantly, never be afraid to write your own weird chapters, edit out those who show they aren't supporting characters, and live your story how you want to overcoming obstacles, learning and trying to love your way through it one day at a time.
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If you would like to make a contribution to this week's Sunday Confession about 'share' hosted by the one and only Hot Ash from More Than Cheese and Beer please link up: