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Showing posts from November, 2016

Thank You For Being Here

Maybe it was the way the twinkly, white, Christmas lights shined from the tree? Festive, bright and happy and refusing to be dulled.  Maybe it was the merriment and bustling of people coming in the house? They were bringing contagious joy with them when they entered. Maybe it was delicious beer that sobered my soul and helped me take a breath in and accept my surroundings,  the love, my life and feel completely happy in that moment? I am not sure what exactly it was. For the first time in quite a while, I was happy to be alive. And really happy I did not kill myself as I had intended two months ago. I wish that did not sound so dramatic. I wish that did not sound so sad. But that is what truth sounds like.  That's what my truth sounds like for this part of my life. High functioning depression. That's really a thing. A thing I have. I tend to do allthethings and do them allthetime. I take care of my mom,  work full time, volunteer constantly and for many organizations, offer my…

Ungrateful Isn't Ugly

It is that time of year when the leaves are crunchy,  air is crisp,  and we find ourselves...overwhelmed with everything. You name it, and we got that monkey on our back, as the end of the year nears the pressure is on. Work, school, homework, inclement weather, sickness, children, finances and of course impending holidays. But every corner we turn tends to have a jolly soul reminding us that we must be thankful for the abundant blessings in our lives.Sometimes, people may misconstrue if we do not shout our praises and thanks, that we are ungrateful. That, however, is not always the case.Abundant blessings? Not all of us are blessed with support,  love, necessities, materialistic items, or  -insert whatever else- that would make our souls satiated. Some of us are trying to continue with this eggshell fine existence where yes at this exact moment everything is okay but all the pieces and parts that are creating the picture are desperately clinging to one another in a fragile and anxiou…