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Sunday Confessions: Impulse

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Over the years, I have said 'yes' to events, charities, favors, donating time....whatever you can think of because that was my automatic default. I could not stop myself from consenting because I was sure that was something I 'should' have been doing, regardless of if it put me out or wasn't a good time or how I felt.
Giving into impulsive thoughts and desires can be satiating and wonderful-when it is something that makes your soul happy. But, when you are just agreeing and going with the flow because it has been your knee jerk reaction for so long...you are doing nothing to benefit yourself.
It is not just okay to say 'no', it is wonderful! It is an act of self-care. It is an act of establishing boundaries. It is taking what you want and need into account, and that is flipping beautiful.
You may even need to take a moment and plan out what you are going to say to those people you feel you cannot turn down. There is not a thing wrong with taking a breath…

Not Where I Want To Be.

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"The fact that you aren’t where you want to be, should be motivation enough".
That is definitely motivating.
But also exhausting.  
Sometimes you try all you know. And you yo-yo. You go back and forth. You try your best…but even with all your effort your bests sometimes are not good enough. You need to stop, take a breather and reset.  
Tomorrow at this time, I should almost be out of surgery for the gastric sleeve.
Since I was a child I have battled with my weight.  I have recently started to take care my health in the most recent years. I have lost weight, gained it back, lost it again, gained stamina, fell in love with the outdoors, gained some back, gotten into therapy…and started to figure out what is going on in my head so I knew the best way to approach…myself.
At this point, I need to do something different and something drastic. It's not for lack of trying-but I need a tool to help me get to where I want to be.
I am too in love with life to not be able to do the stuf…

Sunday Confessions: Shift

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Shit happens.

And, therefore a shift needs to happen.

Life, no matter how much we love it and enjoy it, will disappoint us. Our hearts will be broken, our favorite show will be canceled, we will not get the job we wanted, our laundry will be dyed an ungodly red from a stray towel we forgot about, we will make mistakes and lose friends. On a heavier note...we will fall into a deep depression or be riddled with anxiety, we will not trust ourselves and miss out on amazing opportunities or we will lose those we love and encounter a pain that should be reserved for only the cruelest souls. Our lives tends to be full of little surprises we weren't counting on dealing with...but here we are, navigating and needing to retrace our steps and relearn this dance of life. 

There is no way we will always get what we want or need. Even when we have all our ducks in a row, sometimes a semi comes barreling down the road and smashes them to smithereens.

There will be days where nothing will go right ex…

Sunday Confessions: Center

Writing, amidst the rest of its magical qualities, has the gift of letting people tap into their emotions as well as write them away when they are overwhelming. It is an art to say the least but also a need.

It has become such an intricate and intimate way to communicate with one another. Rarely do we pick up the phone to talk but rather we send a text and in seconds it is delivered. Those words on a screen can make or destroy a human being. 

Think I am being dramatic? 

Have you ever been desperate to hear from someone that you check your phone repeatedly, check their social media to see if they are still posting, check every way they have ever communicated with you...just to make sure that you were not missing something? When in  fact, you were just missing them. Because even though words can be powerful, the absence of them can be immensely shattering. 

When we become so elated or destroyed when someone reaches out to us or stops, it is because we have given them power over our hearts. …

Use Your Words: April 14th, 2017

Hello and happiest of Friday's to you dear reader!
Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. 
Until now.
At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. 
I’m using:     evidence ~ update ~ gigantic~ wonderful ~ apology
They were submitted by:  Bookworm in the Kitchen (Thank you for the words!)               *     *     *      *      *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *      *      *     *      *
Self love is a struggle. 
Well, that was the most understated sentence I have written to date. 
Self lov…

NaPoWriMo Day 5.

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NaPoWriMo Day 4

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It has been a while since I have devoted time to actually writing. Like forcing myself 10 minutes here an hour there. So, I figured why not just dive back into it? I gave myself 10 minutes to just write...so what it is what it is. I think, I like how it turned out. At this point, I'm not editing my poems. I may come back at a later time and do so. But for now, I'm just trying to get back in the groove in writing. 


Happy reading friends. 

Unequivocally Sucky. But? Still Going.

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"Sometimes, it just sucks. It really sucks and I don’t know what to say or how to feel."
Me too, mom.
I promise with all the might I am mustering into this fa├žade of prettily mascared eyes that shrewdly scans my sacred planner that’s chock full of color-coded highlighted appointments and a face that nods when needed and asks the pertinent questions, I do not know what to do or say anymore sometimes either.
Typically, we share the happy moments, the goofy grins, the exuberance of attacking the day. But even my mom, my mom who has the insane tenacity for loving the most out of each day and cherishing even the mundane moments, gets tired and needs a break.
After being told we weren’t a candidate for Hospice, then being told we could be a patient if we 'really wanted', then an angel disguised as a nurse who insisted mom's chart get reviewed at the next committee review we were told,  with a resounding ohmygoodnessyessheisacandidatewhywasntsheapatientsooneryes, we are …

Sorry Friend-You Cannot Avoid Being Seen

Hey.Hey you.I see you.You're so sick of being in this place again. You're tired of time being sucked away by wait times and diagnostic tests. You annoy yourself by mindlessly rattling off your loved one's chief complaint, allergies, current medications, surgical histories and comorbidities. Hell, a year ago the word comorbidity meant nothing to you. Now? Now you understand things you never thought you would. Way more than you should.  And people for some reason think you're smart but you dont feel that way. You feel like you're barely keeping your head above water while treading with ten pound weights attached to your ankles while the high tide rolls in sooner than you expected. Oh...how did I know that you're a frequent flier to the emergency room and hospital? You wear your experience like an old  hoodie you've been meaning to throw out. You are familiar with every tear in the thread, cognizant of every stain but know the comfort it can bring when you'…

Secret Subject Swap: February 3rd, 2017

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 14 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. My Secret Subject:   You go to the grocery store and as you are doing your shopping you happen to look down and find $1000 laying on the ground. What do you do with it?It was submitted by:http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html At one point in my life, when things were black and white, I would have immediately answered this prompt with taking the unexpected grand finding  (see what I did there...yes...I know...Im punny) to the customer service desk and being on my way. That, however, is before the  greys started shading my life in such a dramatic fashion. I would be angry. Honestly, I probably wouldn't even touch it. I would see a lump of money someone carelessly lost and think of all the bills I could pay with it. All…

Use Your Words: Friday, January 13th, 2017

At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other blogs featuring this challenge. Check them all out, see what words they got and how they used them. I’m using:Suspicious ~ don’t ask me why ~ teddy bear ~ suede ~ jailhouse ~ always on my mind They were submitted by:    The amazing Tamara from Confessions of a part time working mom! "Maybe I didn't love you, quite as often as I could have...and maybe I didn't treat you..
quite as good as I should have...",
Willie Nelson gently crooned from the beaten and battered radio that always stayed in the bathroom. Talia froze, with the curling iron poised ready to attack her limp locks, as the words chilled her soul. Immediately, it took her back to him, to them. To their unholy union. Had it really been 2 years? Months had passed without even thinking of him. At first, she was not sure how she would survive the night without him certain she could not make it on her own. She was so used to him berating her and beating her down…