For The Person Who Doesn't Think They Are Worthy Of Love, This Is For You

You have been hurt. 

Badly. 

So bad, in fact, that you think that the pain you have experienced you deserved in some way or another because you are not worthy of kindness, beauty or love. 

But the pain you felt due to other's indifference, apathy, immaturity, or just plain spite...? That, had nothing to do with you-and everything to do with their souls that were not ready to love. Unfortunately, you were the one who it was taken out on and that's why you are reading this right now. You need to know that their anger, their ill-communication, their dishonesty, their unfaithfulness, the pain they brought you, was not a reflection of your worth or lack thereof, it was a reflection of their need to grow as a human. 

It doesn't feel like that though. 

You thought that you were more than enough to make someone else act differently. You thought, perhaps, that your love could change their unhealthy habits or break down their outer shell. But, that did not happen. 

And, that's okay.

Your job was never to change them. 


Your job was to love them as best as you could in your relationship. But the most important job that you had/have, is loving yourself enough to know when to walk away from those who hurt you and  accept you deserve to be treated with love rather than disrespect. 


This may sound like bunk. Cliche even. But, it's true. Only we get to set standards on how we are treated.  



We cannot control how people treat us. 

We cannot control if they hurt us, willingly or by poor decisions that they did not realize would hurt our souls. We cannot control if they are unfaithful. We cannot control if they treat others nicer than us. We cannot control if they try to manipulate us. We cannot control if they are cold to us. We cannot control if they try to slander us. We cannot control if they attempt to abuse us-mentally or physically. 


The only thing we can control is if we allow them in our lives our not. 


Our worth cannot be determined by other people. It is no one's job or duty to tell us how much we matter, what we deserve, or what kind of love we should expect. We are the only ones who know ourselves inside and out. How can someone else place value on us without knowing all of our experiences? Our life? Our thoughts? No one can determine our worth but us. 

You are worthy of love. 
You are worthy of kindness.
You are worthy of being surrounded by good people. 

What has transpired in the past....is in the past. There is no rule-book that says once you have been treated like crap in the past that you must continue that pattern. And, if by some chance that is the belief you are stuck on....get it out of your head, you deserve love in all its forms. 

Keep your chin up, embrace the hurt, know the pain that you have suffered was real, and take a deep breath and move forward.  Do whatever you have to do-talk to a trusted loved one, a pastor, a counselor, go to the gym, burn all their pictures, write uplifting quotes on your bathroom mirror-but know that just because your past was one way...does not mean that your future is destined to be the same. 

You do not have any obligation to work on a relationship that is unhealthy for you-whether that is your spouse,  friend, fiance, child, parent, co-worker....or anyone else in your life. The only person you have an obligation to...is yourself and never forget that the only person who can make sure that you are treated with love-is you. 

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