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Showing posts from September, 2018

WSPD; Please Stay

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We have this weird thing in our culture where we believe in treating our bodies and nourishing our faith (whatever it may be) but when it comes taking care of our minds, when it comes to our emotional health, when it comes to asking for mental help we pause because we know that stigma is still out there. That stupid, asinine, archaic stigma that resides in society that says people who suffer from mental illness are weak. The stigma makes others think that those suffering are faking it, they can just 'get over it', or they can just brush themselves off and keep going. Welp. That's bullshit. We have lost people to suicide who thought they had no other option in this world. We have broken friends and family walking around in soul crushing hazes of grief not knowing how to go on and wondering what they could have done. We have people in our lives right now who are considering if their lives are worth living. We have, ourselves, debated our own worth, found ourselves lacking and t…

The Last Day My Mom Was My Mom

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On September 7th, 2018 it will be one year since my mom has passed away. 

One whole year where I have not heard her laugh, held her hand or watched one of her cheesy sci-fi flicks she just absolutely adored. In three short days, it will be a year that I have not had the joy of having her flush the toilet while I was in the shower, mock me for being so serious or feel her gently caress my back after along day and when she got my sigh she jokingly ask what I would do without her.  My answer is the same now as it was then, I don't know ma, I don't know. 

If we're being honest, my mom left me before the year mark. She was gone that Tuesday after Labor Day. The last time my mom was herself was a year ago today. See, when your body shuts down...the person you were leaves until the rest of your shell decides to die off. It's a confusing and weird time for your loved ones to watch you barely  sip water, administer morphine so your body is not in pain, watch you raise your arms a…