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Showing posts from December, 2018

Fat Woman Taking Erotic Photos-Scratch That: Let's Go with....Woman Taking Photos Celebrating Her Body

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Disgusted with my fat rolls that prominently hung over my hips, disgruntled with my gut that graciously protruded and repulsed by my pendulous breasts that have lost so much firmness and roundness I snapped a picture in sheer frustration and anger in the unflattering, bright dressing room lights. Everything I had tried on brought me closer to a break down. To say I struggle with my self-image is an understatement. Couple that with trying to find some articles of clothing that I could wear to feel 'sexy' or confident in front of a camera left me spiraling out of control and shaking with anxiety and chiding myself for thinking that I was even remotely ready to have photos documenting this mess of me.

My eyes were glued to the image on the phone.
There I was, shirtless with exposed saggy breasts, skin bunched in my abdomen, and a defeated frown on my face with tears threatening to fall in my glistening eyes. I hit 'send' to my photographer with whom I had a session schedu…

Hiking To Happiness? Nah, Just Finding My Own Trail

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2 years ago today, I hiked my last mile to total 100 miles in 2016 at Hoffmaster. It was a rotten year, I was at my highest weight over 450 pounds, I was healing from a lot of emotional wounds yet...I met a goal that I didn't think I could. It was a struggle, I fought with myself a lot but...kept going, one step at a time. That's all it took, one step at a time lead me to meeting my goal. 👣👐 Hiking gives me time to think, to pray, to reflect, to be me...all while blazing my own trail. It doesn't matter how fast I go, how far I go....I've learned it just matters I get out and go. Since then, I've hiked in different states, hiked alone, met amazing people in hiking groups both online and on the trails, fallen in a few creeks, taken myself on mini-road trips to find a perfect place to explore, basked in the beauty of nature, slid down icy hills, had a boot or two sucked into mud, have gotten whacked in the face with branches, been blessed with bruises, cuts, sore m…